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I Hate Christmas
Written by Sam Pottle
David Axlerod
Date 1975
Publisher SESAME STREET, Inc.

"I HATE Christmas" is sung by OSCAR THE GROUCH to enumerate all the things about Christmas that upset him. The song appeared in the Special Christmas Eve on SESAME STREET. He is so annoyed about it that he exits his TRASH CAN & walks around the STREET wreaking havoc. He topples Bobs pile of Christmas presents, destroys a band players glockenspiel & changes Mr. Hoopers "Noel" sign to read "NO". It was later rewritten, but some lyrics remained, for Elmos Christmas Countdown, where Stiller the Elf sings new verses about Counting down to Christmas.

OSCAR sings the song again OSCARs GROUCHmas.

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LyricsEdit

Oscar exhausted I Hate Christmas
Oscar the Grouch singin I Hate Christmas

[Singing]
I cant think of anything thats dumber.
To a GROUCH, Christmas is a bummer!

Beaming faces everywhere.
Happiness is in the air.
Im tellin' you, it isnt fair!
I HATE Christmas!

(OSCAR hits Maria in the back w/ a snowball as she walks by his TRASH CAN. Next he goes over to Susan, Gordon & some kids by the steps.)

People loaded with good will.
Giving presents. What a thrill!
(OSCAR hands a girl a newspaper-wrapped package with brown stuff dripping from it.)
That slushy nonsense makes me ill.
I HATE Christmas!

(Bob comes out of a door, still carrying a tall stack of presents.)

Id rather have a holiday like normal GROUCHES do.
Instead of getting presents, they take presents back from you!

(OSCAR grabs 1 of the presents from Bob, making him drop the whole stack. A sound of breaking glass is heard.)

Here comes Santa girls & boys!
So who needs that BIG red noise?
Ill tell him where to leave his toys.
I HATE Christmas!

(Speaking as he heads toward the store)

& if ya want the truth, I aint so crazy about Thanksgiving or Labor Day either!

(On the album this line is: "& if ya want the truth I aint so crazy about Easter & Labor Day either!")

(Scene changes to inside Hoopers Store, where a huge Christmas wreath is on the wall. Underneath it, Mr. Hooper is hanging a string with the word "NOEL" dangling from it in paper letters of silver & red.)

Christmas carols to be sung.
Decorations to be hung.
Oh, yeah? Well, I stick out my tongue!

(OSCAR tears both the E & L right off of the wall, leaving only the word "NO".)

I HATE Christmas!

(Scene changes to outside the store & the Fix-It Shop, where 3 musicians are playin somethin that sounds like "Joy to the World" & "The 12 Days of Christmas". In front of them is a kettle on a tripod like 1 at the Salvation Army. 2 kids walk by, each droppin somethin in the pot. OSCAR comes up.)

Christmas bells play loud & strong.
Hurts my ears, all that ding-dong.
Besides, it goes on much too long!

(OSCAR pulls half the bars off a sort of hand-held xylophone.)

I HATE Christmas!

(Linda, Maria, & 2 kids are under the stores awning, exchanging gifts. A broom sticks up behind them.)

Id rather have a holiday with a lot less joy & flash
With a lot less cheerful smiling & a LOT more DIRTY TRASH, yeah!

(OSCAR brushes the awning with the broom, making a load of snow fall on them. Next minute, he & his TRASH CAN are back in their usual spot.)

Christmas Day is almost here.
When its over, then I cheer!
I'm glad its only once a year!
I HATE Christmas!

(The album version has this added spoken line):

& to whoever hung that mistletoe over my TRASH CAN well I say, "PHOOEY!" & "BAH HUMBUG!"

(OSCAR goes into his TRASH CAN & slams the lid straight down behind him.)

See alsoEdit


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