Mine-itis Brian Williams Bert

Mine-itis is a GROUCH disease which causes infected individuals to exhibit high levels of egoism & selfishness. The disease gives individuals a sense of entitlement to others belongings; in some cases, individuals exhibit paranoid hoarding of various possessions.

The Mine-itis symptoms come in stages: First, the infected individual will feel itchy. Second, they will start to hop like a kangaroo. Third, they are forced to begin a spout of uncontrollable spinning, after which the infected individual will display intense greed & selfishness. Those infected with Mine-itis will often mindlessly wander chanting "mine, mine" while clinging to others' belongings & displaying a UNcontrollable hunger for possessing more & more.

Mine-itis is cured by having a GROUCH show civility & kindness by sharing something of theirs with an infected individual.

In 2008, a Mine-itis epidemic broke out on SESAME STREET in New York, NY. 14 individuals were known to contract the disease on the STREET -- Bert, Grover, Cookie Monster, BIG BIRD, Snuffy, Alan, Bob, Super Chicken, Luis, Maria, Gabi, Gina, Gordon & Brian Williams. The events of the epidemic were seen in SESAME STREET EPISODE 4181 when Brian Williams of SESAME STREET Nightly News reported on the outbreak as it unfolded. 2 individuals, Leela & Elmo, were unaffected by the outbreak despite prolonged contact with infected individuals. The infected residents of SESAME STREET were ultimately cured by the reluctant kindness of none other than SESAME STREETs local GROUCH, OSCAR.

Mine-itis comes from the possessive pronoun Mine plus the suffix -itis (which refers to inflammation, but in colloquial speech is often used to simply mean illness).



See alsoEdit

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